#Essential Living

How to avoid a Hijacking

March 20, 2018

An Essentialist not only knows it's okay to say "No", they embrace it and serve it up with congeniality and grace.  This skill takes courage and practice.  It also requires a firm understanding and conviction of what is most valuable, the boundaries of time and effort, and how to achieve a balance of both.  Can you recognize a hijacking of your time and resources?

Do you:
  • Feel pressured into doing something?  There is peer pressure even among adults.  
  • Say yes to simply avoid conflict?  Everyone, except possibly a Red personality, has been in this situation.  
  • Feel uncomfortable turning down an invitation or request from your boss, colleague, friend, neighbor, or family member for fear of disappointing them?  Understanding the difference creates the ability to communicate with integrity.    
  • Give "lip service" and say "yes" when you really want to say "no" and then grumble under your breath?  You're not alone.

Courage is the key to the process of elimination and the beginning of clarity.  Greg McKeown's book, Essentialism, offers guidelines to say no to the nonessentials so we can say yes to our priorities .

1.  Separate the decision from the relationship:  Denying the request is not the same as denying the person.

2.  Learn to say No without using the word No:  There are a variety of ways to politely decline.

3.  Focus on the trade-off:  Knowing what we are giving up makes it easier to say no.

4.  Everyone is selling something:  An idea, a viewpoint, an opinion, in exchange for your time

5.  Saying "no" often requires trading popularity for respect:  It takes courage to face the possibility of a short-term popularity loss for a gain in long-term respect.

6.  Be clear with "no" than vague with a "yes":  Being vague is not the same as being graceful.  People will be more resentful when they finally receive a "no".

How to avoid a hijacking without apologizing:

What's the most difficult thing for you to say no to?

With courage comes respect.  You might also be interested in the stories of famous people who said No.


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